I'm just gonna cut straight to the point of all this: can a person be saved even if they're not Christian? (I don't mean if they don't know, because if they don't know then they can't be punished for not knowing. I mean a person, who in my case, has researched this and other religions, has a strange nervous-excited that is not peaceful and is actually more worrying feeling anytime this subject is brought up and is even here as I'm writing this message and is unsure of whether or not it's God talking to them, has broken down crying due to being that worried about this, etc.) Also, I want to acknolwedge that Jesus of Nazareth was a real person, but as similar people such as Muhammad and Buddha/Siddhartha Gautama also exist, this is one of the many reasons I doubt this as much as I do.
If you've seen any of my posts, you'll know I've been debating this for a couple of years now, because quite frankly, I am worried about going to Hell. I strive every day to be a good person (and by good, I mean moral, intelligent, genuinely kind, not hypocritical, just, introspective, treat others as I want to be treated and the best me I can be even if that me is not and will not be perfect) and more than the physical torture of Hell, the main reason I am genuinely terrified of Hell is because of the notion that I have failed this goal of mine. It also means that my friends and family have failed this goal too, and more than I don't want them to go to Hell I don't want them to go to Hell, and I'd happily go to Hell if it meant I could ensure they didn't.
I should probably clarify my beliefs: I'm an agnostic theist and am open to he concept of Christian agnosticism as I am now assuming I can be persuaded through logic and reasoning to do so. As an agnostic theist, I believe in the idea that a something which can be called a god or gods (This doesn't necessarily have to be a deity, just something which exists beyond our reality. It could be a deity, but, it could also be a rock from somewhere outside our reality, for example), but, believe it is nearly impossible to identify the entity. If someone could identify the entity which they call God and confirm its identity, I would absolutely worship it without question as its existence is thus a fact. My belief in the existence of something which we cannot call a god comes from science, as if this being created the universe and everything in it, science is how they did it. For example: God did create all animals, but, did not do so through spontaneous generation, but did so through evolution.
The reason why I've refrained from believing for so long is the fact that I want more proof of certain things than beyond what the Bible offers, and more than that, a physical experience with God through some type of vision or miracle (which He seems to be able to do with little problem in the Bible) to confirm its existence and identity. I don't just want to believe, I want to physically know, study, and understand God to the best of my abilities. If anyone has responded to my previous posts, you'll see the types of proof I'm looking for scattered about in the posts, as well as questions I've had and debates. I want personal experiences, things that I can look at an instantly recognize as God's work at its finest, things like nature, math, and science for example.
Also, there's something that caught my attention: "Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them" or Romans 2:14. There's probably more context to this verse than I know, and if I'm wrong, please correct me. Also, in some modern translations, it's written as this: "Even Gentiles, who do not have God’s written law, show that they know his law when they instinctively obey it, even without having heard it." or "Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law." I've interpreted this to mean something: It is possible to be moral without believing/knowing in God.
I have so many questions and worries and doubts. This isn't even mentioning anything about my stance on homosexuality not being a sin, which I'd still say even if I was Christian, but I honestly can't write anymore than this right now because I have too many thoughts in my head at once.